Dear Bikram Yoga class, Fuck you.

Dear Bikram Yoga class,
I usually love you, adore you, hey, even crave you!
But today, I hated you.  The dirty carpet, all I could think of during vapassana was how many drops of sweat have been dripped into its fibers, saturating and drenching them.  Then I thought, how exactly do they clean this carpet at the end of the day.  After 100's of people have dripped buckets of their sweat into the floor.  Do they vacuum, put down baking soda?  Carpet powder? Actually, I bet they do nothing.

I usually like your energy, my dear bikram yoga class, it feels communal, supportive and strangely fun.  But today, you were a god damn competition.  Who are these fuckers anyway?  "Let's totally do six classes in one day!!!!"  Miss 50 year old arrogant mid-life crisis woman, does it feel good to know you have the full support of all the other crazy bitches in here?  Even though its blatantly obvious that you would probably suffer from a heart attack if you attempted to do 9 hours straight of Bikram.  Actually, youd probably die of dehydration first.

I usually like who teaches you, bikram yoga class.  But today I was not a fan.  "Um do you think you could make it a while longer without drinking any water?"  Um no, I don't.  I'm thirsty.  And do you realize that you are causing way more of a disturbance to the class by pointing out the fact that I am taking a drink of water than the actual act of me taking a sip silently in the corner!!!
And what about the ten lazy people in the back, parked on their asses drinking water for the ENTIRE class?
Why exactly is it that you are always a bitch to me when I come to your class?
Note to self: Look up instructors name and NEVER attend her stupid class again.

I usually can do all your poses with grace and simultaneous force but today I just couldn't.  Slip.  I kept slipping.  Topple, I kept toppling.

Add in the fact that I was gagging on the putrid release of toxins from the bodies of 50 people around me, and a few other hideous factors, and yah, I hated you today Bikram.

But I'll be back and hopefully we will both present ourselves differently, and rediscover what we once had.